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Friday, May 30, 2014

Huzzah for the Left Forum

The annual event, The Left Forum will be held, May 30-June 1, in New York. What follows is a fictional account, of how the event proceeded. This article is my critique of how the Left in the US has abandoned advocating for the most economically vulnerable.  Hopefully, this article, will remain nothing more than a work of fiction.

Convergence of the Left and the Right?

One of the best attended workships at the recent Left Forum, was a call for the US Left to abandon Marx's Theory of the Reserve Army of the Unemployed. Marx claimed that unemployment was built into Capitalism.

 In effect nearly all Leftist who were radicalized during the 1960's and 1970's have rejected this theory. Many if not most, radicalized during that period, claim that US capitalism has abolished involuntary unemployment and economic deprivation.

Long time west coast Anarchist , Top Weasel, pontificated that economic hardship only exists among immigrant workers. He cited the pamphlet, "Death to the Native Born Poor," written by fellow Anarchist, the late Biff Rural. When Rural lost his job and found himself part of the native born poor, his shame was  so great, that he took his own life. Weasel claimed that "any native born worker not making it in America, is obviously a worthless piece of shit!"

During the workshop Fight for Fifteen, referring to the campaign to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour, members of the Well Off Trotskyist Federation, or WTF, objected on the grounds, "that no one in the US, with the possible exception of students and immigrants are involuntarily making less than $20 per hour!" The WTF raised the objection to historic figures, such as Gene Debs and Big Bill Haywood, being honored as working class heroes. As one WTF spokesperson explained, "since America has always been characterized by high wages and full employment, Debs and Heywood had no legitimate grievances against the capitalist class."

When this analysis was challenged by references to the Great Depression of the 1930's and the Great Recession of 2008, WTF members responded, between gales of laughter, "what depression, what recession?" Former 60's leftist Kowl Condescenson, added, if people are poor or unemployed, it's their own fault for not being able to freelance for $20-$60 per hour."

A  representative from the Third Worldist organization, Find Joy in Your Poverty, the FJYP, claimed that even the homeless, the unemployed, the poor, and those who lost their houses as a result of foreclosure, have no right to complain. The FJYP spokesperson claimed," all these people who endure this alleged suffering are still better off than people in the developing world. How do these complainers think they sound to the international proletariat?"

A spokesperson from Leftists Friends of Bill, supporters of Bill Clinton noted, "what's with all this talk about economic hard times? Bill Clinton single handedly resolved all the contradictions of capitalism. What Clinton gave us in the nineties, was not just a lower than usual unemployment rate, but an actual labor shortage! We have to stamp out the myth that half these jobs paid less than $7 per hour, and that most were temporary jobs. Not only was everyone employed, but everyone had good, high paying jobs, with benefits. Instead of all this talk about revolution, we should be out organizing for a constitutional amendment making Bill Clinton President for Life!" Not surprisingly, the groups greatest strength is among former members of cadre organizations, in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Labor staffer, and self proclaimed Leftist Will Feckless aggresively argued that the top priority of the Left in the US was electing Hilary Clinton President in 2016. Feckless claimed that anyone not supporting Clinton would be "aiding the Right!"

W. Impy, from  Leftist Against Guns , or LAG, a group best known for it's motto, "Oh dear, guns!", suggested the Left should go on record, calling for the State to have a monopoly on firearms, and that all privately owned firearms should be confiscated. The position of LAG is that the Second Amendment to the US Constitution, guarnateeing the right to bear arms, only applies to a "well regulated militia." As proof W. Impy stated, "if this was not the case, then why were all privately owned firearms confiscated, within a year after ratification of the constitution?"

A French leftist noted, "there doesn't appear to be much difference between the Left and the Right, in this country.

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